Overview of NVC
1. What is it?
NVC is a process to build stronger relationships by resolving disagreement, negotiation, and conflict. The idea is that everyone can be compassionate and empathetic. We use behavior that harm others only when we do not recognize more effective strategies for meeting our needs or the needs of others.
2. The four parts of NVC:
- Observation - State what you see and hear. Don't judge or evaluate.
- Feeling - Identify and express feelings (yours or the other person). Don't blame. Differentiate between thoughts.
- Need - Explain the need. Be empathetic towards other person's need. Create a win-win situation
- Request - Make a request for action to meet the need. Use positive language, it's not a demand.
3. Example
[observation] I see that you are sitting far from the group and haven't spoken in the last 10 minutes. [feeling] Are you nervous or maybe bored?
mmm… probably both? I don't know anyone and they seems like a tight group of friends.
[need] Make sense! I want you to feel comfortable with my friends. You know, Ben share your passion for surfing. [request] Can I ask him to share his recent surfing adventure? He won't be able to shut up (: